Low-oxalate, so fine. But as you may already know, I believe that fibro symptoms come (mainly) from an unhappy gut, though what causes this dysregulation is less clear. There is probably a hormonal component, a structural issue with the hypothalamus or a lingering infection. Those things are harder to treat, whereas fixing our guts is in our control. So let’s at least do that! With milk, it all comes back to sugar: lots of milk = lots of lactose = bloating, aches and pains.
So, whilst milk is technically ok, I would advise significantly reducing your intake (also yoghurt; some hard cheese is fine). I’m not going to recommend a totally dairy free diet, but when you do have it, make sure it’s full-fat and organic (so many hormones pass from the cow into the milk), ideally even non-pasteurized (raw) and from a reputable source. (obvs always pasteurized if pregnant – ie me – or if your immunity is compromised). Alt milks are interesting… but absolutely no soya, and stay clear of almond too. Try oat/rice/coconut milk drinks instead, and check the ingredients to make sure it’s just the nut + filtered water (+ sometimes some salt), no preservatives or oils or other weird things in there.
Given that you’re going to struggle to order an oat latte (come on Starbucks!) I really recommend switching to black coffee/Americano, and if it’s too strong for your taste, just adding a splash of milk.